NOBAMA

NOBAMA - the mythical unicorn, bigfoot, Lochness monster of the White Trash Tattoo world. Now I'm not one to share hillbilly ink that I haven't personally seen, just as a big game hunter doesn't tell stories about a different hunters adventures, but I have a friend that swares they saw this ink in the flesh and it's too good to pass up. A man actually had this tattooed on his arm. I bet his arm was so red you couldn't even see the "O" in the tat. Wearing a NOBAMA shirt is one thing, but can you imagine the amount of hatred or Dickle Whiskey it must take to have it permanently written on you. In thirty years, this redneck will be able to share his disgust with his grandchildren. Imagine your Papa rocking a sweat "Fuck Kennedy" tat. Some day my friends I will witness this awesome example of White Trashitude. Some day.

Breast Flower Thing

This is a complicated specimen because several variables have to take place for it to truly become a White Trash Tattoo. A flower tattoo by itself is not inherently trashy, and a breast tattoo can also edge on the sophisticated, but when you combine them into being a flower on the breast and the fact that it's faded and not legible...that is proper White Trash my friends. This tattoo will be visible in a towny bar on an old, leathery female. Although the ink needs to be seen to be believed, don't look because it is a trap. She'll catch you staring and say "You checking me out Bubba?" You can't so say "No, I'm just amazed by that trashy tat on your boob" so you have to go along and BAM...the She-Beast has you.

No Fear

Yes, the tattoo says "No Fear." I was lucky enough to catch a photo of this specimen of white trashery. Now it's important to realize that when taking photos of such individuals, you need to be sneaky. I am a trained white trash photographer and anthropologist so don't try this at home. A redneck can turn on you at any time. No Fear Mr. Hillbilly? No Fear in deed.

Calvin Pissing

I'm sure most of you have seen the Calvin pissing on whatever stickers being placed on trucks and Camaros around the country. They illustrate what the driver would like to urinate on whether it's a rival car company or a sports teams. That'll teach those millionaire car manufacturers and pro athletes. I'm sure they shed a tear every time they see that. Well I came across a man with a tattoo of Calvin pissing on a Ford logo. Way to take it to the next level my friend. You may not have a truck to put a sticker on but you too can show your hatred for Ford. I carefully illustrated the encounter above.

Basketball ink

So I was walking through Walmart today (the epicenter of White trash tattoos) and I stumbled across a dude with a tank top and a big orange basketball inked on his arm with the number 63 under it. I almost missed this glorious exhibition of white trashery because I was amaed by his sweet, straggly mustache. I did not have my camera so I couldln't get a picture. This tat is not limited to white people but the spirit of white trash follows it to any race. It says "Yeah I played basketball in high school, and I wasn't any good because I'm so insecure about it I have to show the world that I do love basketball." The number 63 was a good touch because god knows nobody any good has ever worn that number. Great tat, 1998 power forward (JV squad).

Barbed Wire

I had to choose the classic barbed wire tat for the initial White Trash Tattoo. It shows everyone that owner of the ink is as hard as they come. They've lived a hard life, but they survived and now nothing can hurt them. They are tough, and truly better than the rest of us. Or maybe they just have no creativity and thought "That looks cool" when they stumbled into the tattoo parlor after drinking Dickle too long. Pamela Anderson is a classic version of such a specimen.